Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Peppermint Patties not so innocent after all

In case you don't know Sammie and me very well, we are faithful members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As such, we don't drink alcoholic beverages. Neither of us have ever had a drink in our lives. Until yesterday.

I finished my institute class at the church (similar to Bible Study) and had an hour before I had to be at work, which is just down the road. I took myself and a good book to Ruby Tuesdays for a quiet lunch. As I was finishing up a sensible lunch of salad and chili, I started fantasizing some hot chocolate to sip on while I read. I picked up a dessert/specialty menu and found a "peppermint patty." The menu described a cup of hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps, whip cream, and chocolate sprinkles on top. Now, I've heard of schnapps before, but somehow it didn't register. I was thinking along the lines of the peppermint hot chocolate I love to order from Starbucks. I thought, "Oh! So that's what that peppermint flavoring is called." I ordered the drink (The creep didn't ask for ID. Would it have killed him to flatter me by asking me to prove I was over 21? Not to mention it would have tipped me off...) When it came, I decided the peppermint flavoring was way too strong. I didn't like it and only drank 1/2 a cup. When the bill came, I gaped at the $6 cup of hot chocolate. (Shoulda gone to Starbucks!)
It wasn't until I was at work, feeling sick to my stomach, and getting a headache that it dawned on me what had happened. I asked a coworker what "schnapps" is and she explained. How stupid did I feel? At least I know alcohol is not for me. I felt so crappy, I had to leave work early and go home.
I'm sure you can imagine the jokes that have come out of this. My boss warned that if I come to work under the influence of alcohol, she'll have to let me go. Sammie's worried that the stress of his busy MBA schedule and his long days on campus are driving me to drink. When I slept in this morning, it was, of course, a hangover.

10 comments:

jkidd said...

Wow, who knew a little time in Happy Valley would turn you into a lush? You know the old joke: why do you always invite 2 BYU students with you on a fishing trip? Because if you invite only one he'll (or she'll) drink all your beer... hmmm... I never knew that worked for a trip to a simple restaurant, as well? :)

Rae said...

Melissa, You crack me up!!!

SC said...

those are some old dessert menus that should have been thrown out last quarter. Girl just boycott ruby t's now that I dont work there...

love you :)

Spenceanna said...

Melba,
you and Sammie can come stand in for us whenever our Tucson friends invite us out for a drink :) We're sick of saying no to everyone and think this might mend some burnt bridges.

LAHansen said...

I just have to say...this was so endearing and so dang funny. Bottoms up!

Kirsten said...

Cheers, Melba! That was hilarious!

Rachel said...

Jonas and I just had a good laugh at your expense. Thanks!

Sally & Tommy said...

Hi Melissa! Julie gave me your link and told us this funny story! Tom and Sam are cousins, we have fond memories of Sam coming over to our apt to hang out and driving up to Grandpas. Just wanted to say hi, it will be fun to keep up on you guys through the blogs!

Sally

Martha said...

Wow Melbs, maybe you should move back to Utah and all those worldly influences! I'm glad I read this because I had no idea what a schnapps was.

cath said...

what about mexico and the dact that everyone had at least a little accidental liquor?? i also seem to remember that everytime someone wondered if their drink had booze in it, I was the designated drinker! ... see, if you had me with you it would never have happened. schnapps is nasty - whether it is peppermint, peah or any other sickly flavor! sooooooo glad you weren't pulled over for DUI ... HUGS!